


Can't Escape Its Own Tail

by sharkie335



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, tail!sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-05
Updated: 2010-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-05 19:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkie335/pseuds/sharkie335
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I told you this would happen.  Didn't I tell you this would happen?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Escape Its Own Tail

**Author's Note:**

> lillian13 won me for Sweet Charity. She wanted tail!fic or tentacle!fic. I hope this works? Title comes from a Russian Proverb: "The horse may run quickly, but it can't escape its own tail"

"Goddamn it, Rodney," John bitched as they arrived in the infirmary. "How many times do I have to tell you not to play with Ancient tools like a kid in a candy store?"

Keller hurried over. "Colonel Sheppard, is there a problem?"

"You could say that," growled John as he turned around and showed her the tail growing just above his ass. "I seem to have grown a _tail_, courtesy of McKay's obsession with turning on Ancient artifacts when he doesn't know what they do."

When he turned back to face her, Keller was clearly choking back laughter. Not that he blamed her - the damn thing was waving all over the place. Plus, it kept grabbing hold of McKay in some really inappropriate locations, but he wasn't going to tell _her_ that. "Yes, yes, I'm sure you think this is hilarious. Do you think we could remove the damn thing?"

That sobered her, at least a little. "I don't know, Colonel. Hop on up on the table and I'll take a look."

While she ran apparently every test in the lab on him, Rodney hovered just out of reach of the tail, having tangled with it a couple of times. It seemed to like goosing Rodney, as well as grabbing his cock. And while these were activities that John also enjoyed, Rodney didn't seem to believe him that he didn't have any control over the damn thing.

Keller returned, looking a little perturbed. She was no longer laughing. "Um, Colonel, we may have a problem."

"Well, spit it out," said Rodney.

She looked between the two of them, clearly trying to decide if she should speak in front of Rodney. "Go ahead - he's my proxy anyway."

"All right. Well, the tail looks like it's completely integrated with your nervous system. Your spinal column now extends all the way through the tail. I'm very reluctant to just remove it, because I don't know what kind of damage that would do."

"Great," John said. He turned to Rodney. "I told you this would happen. Didn't I tell you this would happen?"

"What? That you'd grow a tail? You did not!"

"Well, not this specifically, but I know I told you that something bad would happen."

Rodney sighed. "Okay, maybe." He then turned to Keller. "Since you can't do anything, I assume I can take him back to the lab to see if maybe we can reverse this?"

She shrugged. "I should probably keep him here, but I know if I try he's just going to sneak out anyway, so go, take him."

They both knew better than to argue with her, so instead they slipped out of the infirmary, with John still bitching, and Rodney still claiming it wasn't his fault. They got as far as the transporter when Rodney was forced to step within the tail's reach.

Once again, it took advantage, this time stroking over his cock slowly. Rodney grabbed it and held it at arm's distance. "Oh, come on, John. There is no way it's doing that on its own."

"It is!" insisted John, blushing.

Before Rodney could argue any more, both their radios went off. "Colonel? Rodney?" came Zelenka's voice.

"We're on our way back to the lab," said Rodney.

"Don't bother," said Zelenka. "I found device in the database. It can remove the tail - "

"Great, let's go!" said John.

"- But it requires twelve hours allow your body to recover."

"Well, crap."

"So there is no point in returning to lab until morning. Go, eat dinner, lose at chess to make it up to Colonel Sheppard. Tail will be removed in the morning." Zelenka clicked off.

John and Rodney were left staring at each other, John's tail still in Rodney's hand. "I'm not really hungry, are you?" asked Rodney.

"Uh, no, not really," said John. "Why?"

"Because your damn tail has been teasing me, and now I'm horny. My room?"

John gave a lecherous grin. "Sounds like a plan."

The two of them made their way to Rodney's quarters. John ended up tucking his tail inside his jacket after the third scientist walked into a wall after seeing it, so he was glad to get there. It was damn uncomfortable to hide.

As soon as the door closed, John shed his jacket, letting his tail loose. As if it resented being hidden, it immediately groped Rodney's ass, making him jump. "Can we at least get naked before you start feeling me up?" asked Rodney, resignedly.

John grinned and started to strip out of his clothes, only pausing long enough to ask, "What are you waiting for?"

Rodney wasn't quite as fast, which meant that John got to help. He grabbed for the hem of Rodney's shirt, only to get his hands smacked by Rodney. "What?" asked John with his most innocent look.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It'll be faster if you let me do it."

"But that's not as much fun!"

Rodney sighed.

Soon enough, they were both naked, and John started pushing Rodney towards the bed. "What are you doing?" asked Rodney.

"It's your fault I have a tail. I think that entitles me to being on top."

"I _don't_ think - " John's tail, and that was never not going to be weird, wrapped around Rodney's dick. "Oh, oh, okay... that's _odd_."

"What's odd?"

"The fur on your tail feels really, really good."

John couldn't hide the grin. "So maybe having it touch you isn't a bad thing?"

"I never said it was _bad_," said Rodney huffily. "I just don't like getting felt up in _public_."

"Right." Both of them watched as John's tail continued to stroke Rodney's cock. After a minute, Rodney was gasping, his hands tight on John's shoulders. John took advantage of his distraction to finish pushing him back to the bed, pulling his tail away and pushing down at the same time so that Rodney sat.

John knelt straddling Rodney's thighs, leaning in for a deep, wet kiss. The whole time that he was kissing Rodney, he got a soundtrack of moans and whimpers as his tail teased and touched. He broke the kiss to say, "You know, Rodney, you keep it up and I'm going to think that you like my tail better than me."

Rodney gave him a cheeky grin, but didn't say anything. Instead, he wrapped his hand around John's cock, giving it one long, slow stroke. Pleasure washed through him, and he groaned as well. He ran his hands into Rodney's hair, tilting his head and kissing him deeply, trying to encourage him to keep going.

Slowly they worked their way back on the bed, until Rodney was lying on his back, with John straddling him. Through it all, John's tail never let go of Rodney's cock. As soon as they were settled, the tail started to stroke slowly and steadily. "John, you're going to give me a new kink," groaned out Rodney. "And it's not fair - you won't have a tail after tomorrow."

"So I'd better get as much use out of it as I can, huh?"

Rodney's answer was an inarticulate moan. In contrast, his hands were busy, jerking John off.

It didn't take long for John to start moaning as his orgasm approached. "Oh, god, Rodney," he said, propping himself up on his hands to try and keep from falling on Rodney.

Rodney flicked his thumb over the spot at the base of the head, and that was all John needed, coming all over Rodney's fist as he gasped and shook.

John was pulled from his post-orgasm haze by Rodney's chuckle. When he opened his eyes and looked at Rodney's face, he saw the familiar gloating expression that Rodney always wore when he made John come first. In response, John _focused_ on his tail, trying to get it to obey his instructions.

When Rodney's face got a hazy look, and he whimpered, John knew that he'd succeeded. He rippled his tail slightly, squeezed tighter, and Rodney came with a shout. John continued to stroke him through it, until Rodney pushed him away with a shuddering hand.

Only then did he really _look_ at his tail. He had come in his fur. "Yuck," he said, only to get glared at by Rodney.

"We'll take a shower. Geeze."

****

Removing the tail was almost anticlimactic. Following Zelenka's instructions, John flipped a few switches and then thought on. There was a slight pain, and then the tail was gone. He sat the box down on the workbench with exaggerated care.

Only to have it snatched up by Rodney. "I wonder if it always gives a tail?" he said out loud, and then a puzzled look grew on his face.

A horrified one replaced it as tentacles poked their way out of the sleeve of Rodney's shirt. When he would have grabbed the device again, Zelenka grinned and snatched it away. "See you in twelve hours, Rodney!"


End file.
